A couple months ago, I was visiting family and chose to go “full on” to accomplish a lot in a little time…visiting, cooking, assisting with planning and attending appointments, running errands…it was a non-stop visit with not-so-great sleep and very few moments to stop and refuel my energy tank. I arrived back home totally exhausted. I love connecting with family and offering support and help, but that experience was something beyond that.

In an Insight Timer blog post, the author of the post, Caroline Stewart, stated “positive relationships activate the reward centers in the brain, which creates a sense of fulfillment and happiness.” Conversely, stressful social experiences can trigger the stress response in our brains and bodies, leaving us depleted.

After speaking with a trusted friend and coach, I realized I was still tethered to an old belief cord about how I am with family. That belief of “doing it all for everyone and not considering myself” was running the show and draining me of the authentic joy and fulfillment I could be experiencing with family. I realized it was time to cut this cord and free myself.

What is Cord Cutting?

Rooted in shamanism, Reiki, and Hindu traditions, cord cutting is a healing ritual used to sever negative emotional ties. We automatically create energetic bonds in our relationships and experiences which can be positive and/or negative. Cord cutting can be a powerful way to release habitual negative conscious and unconscious stories we repeat in our minds about people, places, and experiences. We can also remove our own worn-out beliefs and behavior cords that are distracting, unhelpful, and energy zapping. Some examples of when cord cutting could be beneficial:

- end of a relationship or job
- desiring a lifestyle change
- preoccupation with a person from your past or present
- releasing negative self-talk
- life transitions (moving, retirement, child leaving for college)

Cord cutting can help us get clear about who or what is preoccupying us, literally inhabiting our thoughts and pulling at our attention and energy. It can serve as a catalyst for actively choosing to let go of unhealthy ties so that we can reclaim our energy and feel a sense of renewal and freedom.

Sometimes cord cutting is not always about removing someone or something from your life entirely. Rather, it can allow a relationship or experience from the past to remain in the past as a memory vs. an activator in the present. It can also help establish clear and healthier boundaries when thinking about or interacting with a person or situation in your current life.

Although cord cutting prioritizes your well-being and is not intended to change the other, being willing to let go of thoughts and behaviors about who or what you’re attached to will inevitably change the “dance” for the other. This freedom can create more flow, vitality, and empowerment for both sides.

How to Do a Cord Cutting

Cord cutting meditations using visualizations can create powerful visceral and mental releases. Visualizations heighten the senses and help to concentrate (literally intensify) the meditation for a more embodied experience. Visualizing activates the same neural pathways in the brain that would fire if the activity was actually occurring. This creates a “rehearsal” effect in the brain and establishes new connections of recognition as if something has already been experienced. These new connections potentially improve confidence, motivation, and focus.

Here is a beautiful cord cutting visualization meditation to guide you in your own cord cutting.

A more tangible cord cutting consists of writing about the situation and setting an intention to let go through journaling. After journaling, you can write a declaration of who or what you’re releasing on a piece of paper, and then write what you want to attract on another piece of paper. Then you can burn your written intentions in your kitchen sink, fireproof bowl, or indoor/outdoor fireplace to symbolically declare your willingness to release the old and bring in the new.

Candle and Cord Ritual

Here is a link to a cord cutting kit that includes everything you need (except for the fireproof bowl or tray) to create your own meaningful cord cutting ritual. You can create a ritual for yourself using the kit and guide, or it could be a powerful experience to gather a group of friends to support each other’s letting go and attracting in.

Image Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGlWirkLK5M

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Whether you listen to a cord cutting meditation or create a ritual at home, completing your cord cutting with one or several affirmations helps to seal your intentions. Here are a few affirmations I love:

I release you with love and gratitude for the lessons learned.
I am free and unattached to the past. My energy is my own.
I let go of what no longer serves me to make room for new growth.
I am empowered in my ability to create healthy boundaries.
As I cut these cords, I welcome healing, clarity and closure.

Here’s a link to affirmation sources.

With each version of cord cutting, it’s important to take a few moments afterward to sit quietly, possibly outside in nature, and check in with how you feel. Oftentimes, cutting unhealthy attachments results in a felt-sense of energy returning and breath deepening, our inner landscapes calming. You come back home to you. As one of my spiritual teachers Caroline Myss says, “you call your Spirit back from missions” it isn’t intended to be participating in.

In Craniosacral Therapy, I assist my clients as we identify both physical and mental/emotional restrictions held in the body, discover the source of this holding pattern, and gently offer release through dialogue and hands-on technique. This is another form of cord cutting, where there’s a willingness to let go and heal by listening to a deeper wisdom place within the body.

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If this article struck a “cord” in you, you may feel a little nudge of inspiration to have a closer look at something you want to release or relate to differently.

Whether on your own or in a group cord cutting ritual, or in a bodywork session with me or another healthcare provider, there is profound healing and renewal in letting go. It’s such a loving thing to do for yourself.

As we begin the holiday season, may you travel lightly, let go of what you don’t need, and infuse yourself with love and renewed energy.

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*This blog and website do not provide medical advice. It is intended for general informational purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on to make decisions about your health. Always check with your own healthcare provider before taking a new supplement and before making any significant diet, lifestyle, exercise or other changes. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on this site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.