4 Powerful Steps to Set and Achieve Your Personal Goals for Lasting Success

Article

Mar 27

The reason to have any goal is because your purpose in life is to evolve and become the best version of yourself. The best way I know to do this is through inquiry.

Once I was asked to answer an essay question entitled “What is your life’s ambition?” and I was completely lost as to how to answer it. I had a career, a marriage and a family and initially thought well this is my ambition. I talked with a friend for advice and she surprised me when she said, “That’s so cool. Some people go through life and never give that any thought.” That essay changed my life. Here is what I have learned has worked for me as I lost 25 pounds, others as they have found new careers and purpose and from my experiences as a doctor for 40 years and recently as a coach.

Setting goals is a conscious process. At some point something that was not in your consciousness breaks into consciousness and you become aware that you want something that you don't have. This awareness may come suddenly and clearly or slowly and may be ill defined. It does not matter, what matters is you are different and are now aware.

You may talk with others, do research, scroll and learn what has worked for them. Their success makes it seem possible for you and you are energized. Frequently, that excitement drives you to jump to action, but can also make you stop in your tracks. That's because you cannot imagine how to fit in one more thing on your to-do list and you may feel guilty for wanting anything since you have so much already. So you just let it go. For now. This erodes your confidence.

So this is where I suggest you slow down and answer these questions first. Be specific.

Step 1:

What do you want?
Why?
What will be different once you achieve this?
Who will you become after having achieved this?

Setting a goal is a sacred process. The true goal is not the what, rather it is the space that answers the question “how will I achieve this goal?”. This transforms wanting into the possibility of achievement. How someone else succeeded in achieving a goal, was their journey. This is your journey, so being honest with yourself here is the difference between dreaming and achieving. Small consistent steps do lead to big impact.

Step 2:

What have you tried so far that has worked and/ or not worked?
What will get in the way for you to achieve your goal?
What are you most afraid of if you achieve this goal?
What is the smallest step you can take every day to achieve this goal? This is the first step you will take.

Setting a goal is a personal process. I love goals because they are proactive, and give your brain direction about the future that you want. Otherwise other people's goals become yours. The children’s sports, the spouse's career or the dog’s need for food, water and a walk keep us busy- and unfulfilled. Setting goals builds your self confidence that you will do what you say you will do.

Step 3:

How will I track my progress every day?
What help will I need to achieve this goal?

Finally, setting a goal is a messy process. This is the most shocking because we do not see this on TV or Instagram! Self judgement jumps in to slap you down with all sorts of bad advice. “See? I must be a failure… I will never change... I am ridiculous to think I can do this!” and you look for all the evidence you were wrong to even think about setting a goal. This is exactly the point to pause, breathe and be curious & compassionate.